Family: Anne's interview

In 2007 Mathilde's mother, Anne Komorowska agreed to a rare interview, talking about her youth, her marriage and her children.

When did you first meet your husband?
In 1970. Just like me, my husband was invited for a hunting party at a friend’s. He didn’t turn my world upside down when I first saw him, but at night, at dinner, we started talking. Before I left that night, he invited me for a trip to Corsica. I thought it was odd. To just leave like that, with someone I had only met once: normally I would never agree to it. But because other people that I knew were going along, I accepted the invitation. I’m glad I did.

And during that trip you fell in love?
Yes. I discovered that we thought the same way about many things. A thing that also touched me, was that he was a very galant man. He knew a lot, was very eloquent and handsome. I was very much drawn to him.

Was the difference in age a problem?
No. I was twenty five and my husband thirty five. I didn’t see it as an obstacle. I rather saw the benefits. He had a lot more experience in life than I did.

Was it your first true love?
Yes. I was a bit late. Before I met my husband I had never really been intrested in men. That was not who I was. I was shy and modest.

You still are today?
Do you think so? I do hear it more often. Maybe it’s a family trait. I feel more at ease when I’m not in the centre of attention.

Were you aquainted with these feelings of love before you met your husband?
Not in this mesure. Of course I had been in love, but that can’t be compared with the feelings I had for my husband. I remember very well how those feelings came over me and confused me (laughs). It was the second day of our trip. I felt all weird, I couldn’t think of anything but him. It soon became clear that he felt the same way about me. When I noticed this, I dared to accept my feelings and started dreaming about a future with him.

So it seems, because you were engaged seven days later.
(laughs) Yes, I know that’s quick. My husband was afraid he would lose me and tried his luck (wincks).

Wasn’t your husband supposed to ask permission to your father? In your circles this is a habit, isn’t it?
Before my husband asked me to marry him, he had a conversation with my father. And it went very well, because the same night he officially proposed to me.

Were you expected to marry among aristocracy?
We never talked about it explicitly at home. But if I’m honest I think my parents counted on it. In those days , the 1970s, a marriage with a commoner was looked different upon than nowadays. Not that commoners weren’t good enough, but it simply wasn’t a habit of ours. Luckily nowadays love comes first, and not descent.

You were born in Bialograd, Poland. How did you and your family end up in Belgium?
My parents (count Leon-Michel Komorowski and princess Sophia Sapieha-Kodenska) had a tough life. In 1957 they were forced to flee Poland with their five children because of the communist regime. You can take it from me their hearts bled. They were put through the most terrible humiliations and ended up completely ruined. They even feared for their lives. Without possessions, but not defeated, they moved to Kivu in Congo. But it wasn’t safe for us there either. After my grandmother, uncle and aunt were killed there, our parents arranged for us to come to Belgium. A year later my mother followed, and so did my father, in 1965.

Belgium became your new home?
Yes, it did. I learned the language and the customs. None the less Poland will alwas have an important place in my heart. That’s where my roots are. But when I talk of ‘home’, I mean Belgium.

Then you went to college?
Yes. First I finished secundary school and then I chose to become a nurse. It was my dream as a little girl to become a nurse. That my family allowed me to fulfill this dream is something I’ve always been grateful for. When I graduated, I started working in a hospital in Etterbeek (Brussels). I remember that time as the most beautiful time of my life.

How long did you work in the hospital?
Right up to my marriage. So three years. I would have loved to remain working there, but because we moved to Bastogne, it wasn’t possible. And my husband preferred me to stop working. That's how it was in those days.

You wanted a large family?
Certainly. I come from a family with five children myself, and my mother had seven sibings. I always remembered the warmth. Although I also remember the sadness. My grandparents’ tragedy was that they lost four out of their eight children. And still, I remember the smile on my grandmother’s face. She was such a strong woman. Even the death of her children didn’t break her. That’s typical for our family. We will always look for that one ray of sunlight, even if we suffer a lot.

In 1973 your first daughter was born, Mathilde. No doubt you were a happy woman?
Yes. The arrival of our first child made me accept that I was no longer working. It was a difficult pregnancy, but once Mathilde was born, I completely forgot about it. She was a god’s gift. I enjoyed it so much to be able to concentrate on the education of our children. The following years we had three more daughters: Marie-Alix, Elisabeth and Hélène. My pregnancy with our youngest daughter was a torment. For the entire duration I had to stay in bed. But she was worth it. When Hélène was born, my husband and I decided to stick to four children. We didn’t want to take any risks. We had four gorgeous daughters.

Wasn’t your husband disappointed he didn’t have a son?
No. He never said so. The only thing that mattered to him was that we had four beautiful healthy daughers.

But six years later you expected another child?
We weren’t counting on it any longer. But of course we were happy. Then our son Charles-Henri was born.

I can imagine your husband was very pleased he had a son at last? This way the continuation of the line was ensured.
Which dad woudn’t have been happy? But I know him well enough to be able to say that he would have been just as pleased with a fifth daughter. It wasn’t like he wanted a son by all means.

I understood you were never really accepted by your husband’s family. Why do you think this is?
If I knew it, I would have felt better all those years. Maybe then I would have been able to solve the problems. I do have a theory.

Whis is?
It’s more the conditions, than the person. Each woman who would have married my husband would have had this fate. My husband’s brothers always hoped Patrick woudn’t marry, so they could keep control over him. My husband never had secrets for me. Not about financial matters either. He thought I should know about everything, so I would be able to manage in case something ever happened to him. That openness has scared my brothers-in-law and they started acting this way.

Have you tried to reconcile with your brothers-in-law over the years?
Certainly. In the beginning of our marriage their hate towards me was not that big. Raoul was even a witness at our wedding and Henri is the godfather of Elisabeth and Charles-Henri. If I woudn’t have been willing, I would certainly not have asked them. But their masks dropped when their mother’s inheritance was at stake.

Did you get along well with your mother-in-law?
Very well. From the first time we met, there was a deep mutual respect and trust. We recognized a lot of ourselves in each other. She was also concerned about others. She learned me to love this country and its people. I’ll tell you something, that shows how much my mother-in-law and I loved each other and how much she wanted me to marry her son: because my parents were totally ruined, she paid for the entire wedding. A very unusual gesture.

Did your husband in turn have a good relationship with your parents?
My parents owed a lot to my husband. He looked after them as if it were his own father and mother. Because they had nothing, they were not entitled to a pension or an income. My husband could not bare to see this and bought them a house, where they lived for the rest of their lives. They were always grateful for that. On the 13th of August 1997, just before my mother died together with my daughter Marie-Alix, she thanked my husband for the way in which he had supported them all those years. It was as if she felt she was going to die.

Your mother and your daughter Marie-Alix died in a car crash. How did it happen?
(long silence) The tragedy took place on the 14th of August 1997. We had a family meeting that day to remember my father’s birthday, he had died a few years earlier. My daughter Marie-Alix wanted to be with my mother to support her. They drove together in my mother’s small car. Another car, with my sister-in-law and my son, was driving in front of them. At the moment the accident happened, my son looked at the road behind him, he saw everything happen. Just before the bridge of Herstal it went wrong. My mother’s car was hit by a truck when overtaking. The car turned around a few times and came to a stop, diagonally on the road. Another truck coudn’t avoid the car and crashed into it at full speed. The blow must have been terrible.

Your mother died immediately, but your daughter died later, according to the police rapports.
Yes. Marie-Alix still lived for a short moment. The ambulance, who were there very quickly, did everything they could to save her. Her wounds were too severe.

How did you hear about the terrible accident?
My sister-in-law told me. That afternoon we were only a kilometer away, at a reception for my brother’s new company. My sister-in-law burst into the reception, completely upset and told us that an accident had happened to mama and Marie-Alix.

Did you already know then that your mother had died?
No, but I knew it was serious. My husband and I ran to our car immediately and drove to the spot of the accident. I saw how the doctors were reanimating my daughter in the ambulance. It was heartwrecking. I often think about how they left the ambulance. I could see in their eyes my daughter hadn’t made it. I can not explain what I felt then.

By then you knew your mother had passed away too?
Yes, all the while she had been lying there on the ground under a white sheet. It was gruesome to look at. I completely lost it. Two people whom I loved so much were lying there and I could do nothing to help. Do you know what’s worst?

No.
That at the time I didn’t have the presence of mind to donate their organs to people who needed them. They could have saved someone else’s life and their deaths woudn’t have been completely useless.

Your daughter was burried in a family grave in Proven, near to the cottage that’s in the middle of the debate now, and your mother is burried in Bastogne.
Yes, the choice to put Marie-Alix to rest in Proven is due to the fact that the family grave is there. I think I don’t have to explain the details why we wanted the cottage there. I had hoped my brothers-in-law would have had the decency to forget the family fued at the moment of the funeral. But during the service for mama they came in late and made a lot of noise. During the burrial they had disappeared.

They were at the funeral of your daughter?
Yes, to be able to steal the show. It’s Henri’s fault that the press knew about Philippe’s presence at the funeral.

What do you mean?
My daughter had just started a relationship with prince Philippe. Nobody outside the family knew about it. That was a good thing, for them to discover each other peacefully. Of course the prince was present at both funerals to support Mathilde and our family. Nobody asked any questions, because his presence was explained by the fact that he knew our family. Everybody believed this, untill Henri thought it was necessary to reveal the truth. He broke the trust our family and the prince had in him.

Did prince Philippe’s support mean a lot to you?
He was fantastic. On the day they died he personnally arranged for my two daughters who were in Germany to get home safely. Not by buying airline tickets, he went to fetch them himself. Those days he was there for us day and night. All his duties were cancelled. Nothing was too much for him. And you should know that at the time nobody knew about his relationship with Mathilde. There was no question of marriage yet. And still that man did so much for us. He’s a person with a big heart. More people should realize this.

How have you learned to live with this great loss?
I can’t live with it, but I have no choice. My husband, my children, my sons-in-law, my grandchildren are the reason that every now and then I can put it aside. You never get used to loosing a child. I don’t believe the stories that time makes it easier. It’s just not right to survive your own child.

Despite the sadness, are you satisfied about your accomplishments as a mother?
You’d better ask Mathilde, Elisabeth, Hélène or Charles. I hope so. I tried to raise them as good as I could. I tried to give them values, teach them love and respect. When I see how each of them has found their own way in life, I can only be satisfied. The greatest gift they can give me is to pass by from time to time at the castle.

Are you proud of Mathilde?
Just as proud as I am of my other children. I don't look at Mathilde in another way because in the future she could be queen of the Belgians. For me she will always be one of my children, and I love them all equally. I do have a lot of appreciation for the way in which she has taken on this difficult role, and how brilliantly she fulfills it. It makes me proud. Because believe me, it takes a lot to lead her and her husband’s life.

Would any of your other children change places with her?
Absolutely not. Mathilde’s a born princess. It’s as if she was destined to fulfill this role. My other children woudn’t be able, let alone want it.